1. To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
2. What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
3. The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
4. Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. "Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
5. Hardware engineers believe, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Software engineers believe, "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features
yet."
6. An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay
with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at
it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me
and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want"
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you
want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't
have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
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